I just finished reading the book Moccasin Trail aloud to our youngest. And yet again, a book reminds me how often we
- make assumptions about others and what they might be thinking of us
- make decisions based on our  assumptions (which are frequently inaccurate)
- lack humble, beneficial self-awareness
- and make long term decisions that affect our relationships

"How are you?" is a thought-provoking question.

I write a lot of blog posts in my head. Recently (almost two months ago) one of those mental posts was about how I was feeling about being asked, "How are you?" (and how I was feeling about asking it). My own thoughts didn't particularly coincide with what Sarah Mae wrote in this post, but I especially liked what I copied and pasted below.  Life IS painful and weird and messy, and full of a lot of "little" challenges that 95% (or more) of the people I run into or interact with here and there are unaware of. At the time when I read that blog post, I actually wrote a few thoughts down, but never shared them. (Disclaimer: If you start reading this and find yourself in disagreement or wanting to move on to something else, skip to the final paragraph and read it before you go. That is really the main point.)

Sometimes I think of those I know who are facing much bigger or harder challenges, and wonder how they do it. There are some challenges and suffering that are more easily communicated publicly, and others that are not to be shared with everyone. We are able to come around, be aware of, and be supportive of someone with a "major" issue because when we hear the words "hospital" or "treatment" or...(fill in the blank), we automatically know that person or family is facing significant hardship. While my daily struggles in no way compare to some of the circumstances I'm thinking of, sometimes I've wondered if all the "little," persistent challenges many of us face are not also affecting us almost as much and serving a similar purpose in our lives of reminding us of our dependence on the Lord, and sharpening our hunger for heaven. (The point of this is not in anyway comparison as we are talking about apples and oranges here, more just a contemplation of life.) 

God tells us in the Bible that we are going to face challenges and to suffer. Jesus did, and if we are growing more like Him, we will as well.  I've come to believe that everyone is dealing, has dealt, or will deal with "stuff". "Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:17

Personally, I do not have the energy or the time to share with everyone who asks, the full, "real" answer to "How are you?" But answering with "fine" or "okay" sounds very trite and feels dishonest, when that isn't exactly the whole story. I'm thankful for a few people I can share with more deeply what all is going on behind the scenes, and hope that we all have a few people like that in our lives. I greatly appreciate hearing what's really going on in others' lives when the opportunities do arise for more in-depth conversation. I wish that there were enough hours in my day (and space in my brain!!!) to pursue more people deeply than is currently feasible. In our age of technology and easy travel, I imagine that we have more friends, family, and acquaintances in our lives than we can ever possibly keep up with, but I often feel the pressure (sometimes self-inflicted) to "be more present" (to use a currently popular catch-phrase) in more people's lives, from those I pass in the halls here and there, to extended family, to friends on social media.

These are all just things I have thought about some recently. I think what I really hope and am learning more all the time as I get older and live life, is that we all grow in our ability to give abundant grace to one another as we realize that "life is painful and weird" for pretty much everyone. Some days we may be able to unpack the full answer to the "How are you?" question more deeply with someone, and some days we have to be content with the shorter "fine" or "okay" or ??? answer, and realize that we can't keep up with everyone. I hope no one reads these rambling thoughts of mine and takes it to mean that I am not interested. Maybe it's a sense that we can't be best of friends with everyone we interact with. I think for me it's a bit of feeling caught between the value of our culture of "vulnerability" and "transparency" and being "truthful", and the reality that I don't have the capacity or desire to go there with everyone I say "Hi! How are you?" to, and who says it to me. And yet, want to be honest. This is a challenge for those of us with a tendency toward more introverted personalities.

From the post by Sarah Mae:
'But the thing is, I really am okay, today, right now. I know God will deal with this stuff. I know that tomorrow I might face something hellish. Sometimes life just hurts and I just have to sit in it, the pain. It comes and goes. I’m not fighting it, just sitting with it. “Here God, do something with this. I’ll wait. I love you. I trust you.” Most of the time I think I trust God. Sometimes I cry out and wonder, “are you even there?'”

That’s a lot of words. Maybe I’ll just say, “Okay and not okay. Life is painful and weird.”

Me, Tiffani, again: If you made it through all of this, thank you. It is kind of a jumble in my mind and here on the screen. But I think the point and what I keep coming back to is GRACE. Grace for others. Grace for myself. Hopefully others' grace for me. And ultimately, God's grace that covers all. That popular saying that makes the rounds in memes and social media that is attributed to Plato is also a good summary: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Yummy Grilled Chicken

A few months ago, we used money I received for my birthday to purchase a wood pellet grill. Sometime I will try to write about the particular one we ended up with, but for now, this post is about our most recent success with it.

Last week we bought a pack of chicken breasts at Sam's Club. Instead of throwing them in the freezer whole, I cut them up and put them in a Ziplock bag with the marinade for these Honey Lime Chicken Adobo Skewers, and froze it that way. Yesterday, I put the bag out to defrost on the counter and it was just thawed when it was time to fix them.

This recipe uses the grill as a grill, not a smoker. The temperature was pretty high, so keep an eye on them if you don't want overcooked chicken! The only other alteration I made to the recipe was using lime oil from King Arthur Flour instead of lime zest (so quick and easy - and this bottle has lasted me for YEARS).

These were really good and we will have them again. I really like the convenience of freezing meat in a marinade and having it ready to go for a future meal.

One Project at a Time

 Two years ago, I won a Moda Charm Pack of "Woodland Holiday" at a sewing presentation. A year ago, while skimming the book Simplify with Camille Roskelley, I found a pattern, pieced the top and pinned the layers. This year, I finally quilted it and sewed on the binding and hanging pouch. Next year, it will be displayed!!!

This is being linked up to:

New Year's Pantry Challenge

I've been missing this blog and wanting to show up here again! Life is so full with the living of it right now, that blogging isn't a priority. But it helps me to slow down and think a bit and to consider our lives and not just race through them.

While cleaning out the email inbox this morning, I came upon this:

I'd like to make and freeze some meals in the next few days before school starts up again next week, and that is more of a priority to me than cleaning out the pantry. BUT cleaning out the pantry is something that needs to be done - not urgently - but determinedly. (Does that make sense?) So if possible, the two can be integrated and we can clear out some of the older items in the freezer and pantry, but prepare some things for the busy nights full of extracurricular activities that are about to resume again, at the same time.

It is impossible for me not to consider things I'd like to change or do better or differently when the new year begins. While writing goals or resolutions and then doing something about them has been futile for the most part, there are still things that come to mind at this time each year. Here's to growth in us all this year!

Reading...The Inheritance

For about a year and a half now I have been part of a book group that meets once a month. This month we read The Inheritance by Louisa May Alcott. It was her first novel, written when she was 17, but not published until later in the 20th century. It is a quick read and there have been multiple movies made of it. I would describe it as somewhat sappy.

Makeover

This is one of the first steps toward adding some decor to the girls' room. This blog post that I discovered via Pinterest is the inspiration.

The mirror was a Good Will find ($1.99) and is made of a plastic resin. First step was finding some paint. B was with me and we were hoping for something a little brighter, but this turned out OK. Next, remove the mirror which was simple. Then, cleaning it, which was the trickiest part because there was dust in all those little holes. Finally, painting, which I was able to do in the front yard, since we seem to have completely bypassed the usual Midwest spring and gone straight to summer. Once it dried, the mirror was replaced and it is ready to hang!